iamthedagger

Bad Show is Bad or How All Heroes Fall...eventually

Let me preface this post by saying I have been a consummate supporter of the show “Heroes” ever since it’s beginning. I have been there during the bad times and the good times (were there really that many?), and for the most part the show has been what I feel a decent watch. By no means should it ever have been your favorite show, but it has been something worth the DVR. However, with a busy schedule and better shows creeping into my hard drive space, the show has ultimately died. Three weeks ago, (I can’t remember the episode cuz it was so forgettable and pointless) I found myself struggling to get through an episode because I simply didn’t care anymore. I don’t care if Parkman ever gets Sylar out of his head, I don’t care that Hero STILL hasn’t conquered his power of Time Travel, and I don’t give a F*CK about some stupid FREAK carnival that they still haven’t explained and is so lame. Seriously, we are rehashing story lines from episode 1, and not even the GOOD story lines, and the rest of the show is just wandering, with no focus, no plot, no relevance, and most importantly it’s not entertaining anymore.

The sad thing is this show has all the right ingredients, budget, talented actors it needs to do something awesome. They had it right in the first couple of seasons, but for some reason they took some horrible turns that I can’t even begin to type right now, because looking back they are so inane and trivial my mind shudders at combing for the lost memories of such wasteful moments in my life. I get it that it’s like a comic book, and it’s serialized television, and there’s a lot of plot lines. Fine, that’s great, I love comic books, the shit still needs to be viewable and entertaining though, and for so long now, it’s just been boring, and borderline awful writing. 

I conducted some research from my trust source wikipedia for some statistical analysis to show how far the show has fallen:

Figure A: 

I don’t know if that will display correctly but that is the ratings for the season finale of season 1 - 13.5 million viewers, not bad, not bad at all for a show’s first season

Figure B:

And last week’s episode, a paltry, embarrasing rating of 5 million people. I think re-runs of CSI Miami get more than that……

So as you can see, hardly anyone cares about this show. Why did it come to this, well I think the concept of the show never had enough to it to stretch on for years and years. It was a good idea, but not good enough for a six season show. A good measure of a successful tv show is it gets better as time goes on like The Sopranos, or Scrubs, or Arrested Development. Unfortunately, this was never the case for Heroes. Like I said it could have been so much more, all of Sylar and Peter’s powers, the ability to TIME TRAVEL, and the possibility that all of us could have powers too… le sigh.

Oh well at least Parks and Recreation rules now!

someone please conduct brain surgery on me

I feel as if though this song has been stuck on loop between my ears for at least three years. This of course is not possible, however; it’s ability to permeate my subconscious has caused me to even analyze the lyrical content of this audio recording. I hope you contract this virus. Misery loves company.

Ice Cream Paint Job - Dorrough

I Can't Wait Till Dec. 21, 2012

Ok first off let me start by saying, wow, VENUS FLYTRAPS ARE HORRIFYING!!!!!!!!!!!!! If there wasn’t enough horrible, awful things to worry about in the world (swine flu, planes crashing, twilight) now it is a legitimate concern of mine to not fall into a pit of FLESH EATING PLAANNNNNNTTTTSSSS!!!!!!!! srsly A PLANT that craves BLOOD, gaaahhhhh.

But ANYWAYS, as far back as I can remember, I have always heard that on Dec. 21, 2012 THE WORLD WILL END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But before that, there was an even scarier threat of impeding apocalyptic doom, Y2K. Now I remember on New Year’s Eve 1999, I wasn’t ‘partying like it was 1999’, I was scared out of my mind. I remember distinctly watching the news as it changed to 2000 in every country and sighing several breaths of relief as I realized indeed the world would not end that night, and then I believe this happened to premiere on MTV. 

Flash forward to now, almost 2010, and we have even a better, bigger, more explosive apocalyptic vision given to us by ancient Indians or something like that. Now had I not lived through Y2K, I might be a little more apprehensive about this prophetic omen of darkness, but then again, with that logic I might also be dead. Regardless, I’m not going to go into the details of all the intricacies of what is to happen, but understand, according to these indians, it’s going to be bad.

But you know what. I’m not afraid anymore. And you want to know why I’m not? Because of this man:    

That man is a genius by the name of Roland Emmerich. You might know him as the director of the best movie known to mankind (that word has a different meaning today): Independence Day. In this glorious construct of story and images, perfectly placed on 35mm celuloid, Emmerich showed us that there is always a way to avoid the end of the world. All you need is one part Will Smith, two parts Jeff Goldblum, and three parts Randy Quaid as a drunk crop duster. Simple. ok? So everything was fine, but Emmerich is a smart man, he knows there’s another threat 2012. So what does he do? He makes another movie to save us from the FUTURE, aptly titled 2012. So what’s his recipe for the mad-max cure this time. Well, from the looks of the trailer, space ship taxis, 3 parts John Cusack, and just a pinch of Danny Glover. Mmmmmmmm, delicious. But there’s one more thing to add, by making this film it prompted the most powerful scientific institution in the universe (j/k there are aliens laughing at them right now!) NASA, to debunk all the theories and reassure us that despite what you heard, on Dec. 22, 2012 the sun will rise, the earth will continue to spin at roughly 1000 mph, and we will all be one day closer to the greatest day ever, December 25, 2012. Personally, on that day, I think I will invite Mayans over to enjoy some delicious post-non-apocalyptic maize, beans and a COOKED CHRISTMAS GOOSE, and I will just laugh at them.

So go to this site to get your facts STRAIGHT and realize NASA has never been wrong, right??? And also, the next time you’re lying in bed scared to death that the end is coming, just know that f*cking Roland Emmerich has got your f*cking back and everything’s going to be ok? alright? jeez.